I just BRANG

Hari (Name changed for obvious reasons), born and brought up in a small village in Kerala completed his schooling from a Malayalam medium school in his locality. A malayalee who never went to a Malayalam medium school misses out more on English grammar rather than Malayalam itself. I will tell you how. The teaching techniques followed in state schools to learn English grammar is strictly based on text books. You are taught "English", not to speak in English. You get to learn about "subject", "voice", "tense" and so on, but framing a sentence becomes more of a jigsaw puzzle and speaking in English becomes a nightmare.

After completing his schooling Hari joined a state run college in the nearby town. Hari seldom got a chance to use English in his college as speaking English in colleges run by the state was not against the rules but it was frowned upon. Hence, the staff or students in Hari's college never bothered using English as a medium for communication.

Following his degree, Hari started trying his luck in the IT domain which had started booming in the country. Being the intellect he was, Hari managed to get short listed for an interview in the very first exam he had attended.

The interview was to be held in Bangalore and Hari left for Bangalore accompanied by Vivek, his best mate. Blending in with the Bangalore crowd was not easy for Hari and the cosmopolitan english speaking crowd was taking its toll on the boy.

Waiting in the office reception along with the other candidates, Hari tells Vivek how he feels. Vivek asks Hari to relax and tells him to have a conversation with the person sitting next to him. Vivek convinces him that this should help him blend in with the group and also give him a head start for the English he has to speak in the interview to follow.

The conversation Hari had with the candidate sitting next to him goes like this.

Hari - Hi. I am Hari.

Candidate - Hi. Vishal. (Shakes hands) So, are you from Bangalore?

Hari - No. I am from Kerala.

Vivek is quite impressed with the start and is happy about the fact that things are going on better than expected.

Candidate - (Noticing the degree certificate with Hari) Are we supposed to bring the certificates?

Hari wants to respond but he realizes that he faces a problem. He can’t figure out the past tense for "Bring". Vishal repeats the question and Vivek starts getting nervous realizing the situation up front. Hari thinks hard. The past tense for “ring” is “rang”. So for “bring” it has to be .... BRANG.

Hari - I just BRANG.


Vishal raises an eyebrow. Vivek runs out of the room covering his mouth trying to control his laughter. Hari doesn't have a clue on what has gone wrong.


Hari has moved on after the BRANG incident. He has been in a major IT company in Bangalore for around 5 years and is one of the best members in his team. He speaks English fluently and all his friends still get back to him to clarify their doubts on English grammar. Meanwhile a lot of his friends who never got a chance to study in a state school still struggle with the tense and grammar. It is very noticeable and it won’t take long for you to pick grammatical mistakes from my posts in this blog.

My 125 CC

On Bangalore roads filled with potholes
I got to reach office through the heavy traffic
As I make my way dodging buses and autos
The black alloys gleam and the steely discs shine
Yes... It's a beauty, My 125 CC

As the hot sun burns down your skin in Chennai
The Cops see me on my bike registered KA
To escape, I need to take the IT freeway
I work on my pace and take on curves with grace
Yes... It's a beauty, My 125 CC

Further down the lane ...

Further down the lane I can see
My little cottage and a garden with a lemon tree
Daddy's little girl in a pink skirt
She is blue eyed just like her mommy

Further down the lane I can see
My sleek Porsche and a Ducati
Teaching my son to grip a bat
While my big brown dog drives my wife mad

GHOST

Amidst the greyish clouds
On lonely nights
I see a tiny light
Which moves away from my sight

My wind wanders for an answer
The more I think, the more I ponder
I guess it could be an illusion
Ghost perhaps ... Or a delusion!!!

' ' ' 'Monsoon' ' ' ' 'Rains' ' ' '

The monsoons are experienced to the fullest by children who are lucky enough to spend their best years in the villages of Kerala, God’s own country. With the schools closed for vacation, the children eagerly wait for the rains as majority of their holiday activities revolve around the lakes and rivers close by. Every morning the children would meet near the temple pond to start their day with a swim. Following their swim, it is a must for everyone to make a visit to the temple as their mothers are pretty strict when it comes to serving breakfast for those who didn’t do so. With the temple chandan neatly applied on their forehead, the children head home where they are greeted with hot idlis and dosas. Most of the children are prepared to have a heavy breakfast as there is always a chance that they would miss their lunch because of an extended soccer game in the pouring rains.

Unni, just like any other 8th grade from his village, was anxiously waiting for the monsoons which had been already delayed by more than a week this year. He was missing the fresh green waters, fishing and all the soccer in the rains. And now he was getting this weird feeling that it wouldn’t rain this year. He hoped that he was wrong and his friend Appu to be right. Appu and Unni had been classmates since nursery school. Appu had predicted a delayed monsoon this year, but he had also predicted that the more the rains would be deferred the more the rains you can look ahead for.

It was a Sunday and the schools would reopen after the summer vacations in another three weeks. Unni had started the count down and he had started scraping down the number of days remaining in their vacation on the huge mango tree in his courtyard. With only 21 days more to go for the school reopening and with the sun blazing in the clear skies, Unni was certainly looking very disappointed that day. To cheer him up, his mother had invited Appu for lunch. After having a heavy lunch and two glasses of palada payasam Appu had joined Unni for a game of chess in the shade of the mango tree. Unni and Appu feared to leave the shade of the tree as the temperatures were particularly high that afternoon. The chess game was also not picking up interest as Appu had lost half his pieces in 15 minutes. Just as Unni had captured Appu’s Queen and having gained an unassailable position, he noticed that Appu was looking at the sky and he was having a frown on his face. Unni knew this look very well and he knew that Appu was about to come up with yet another prediction.

Appu said with a puckered brow, “This is it. It will rain tonight.”

Unni didn’t even bother to look up. He kept his eyes on the chessboard knowing that there was not a single cloud in sight. He said, “I hope you are right this time. I don’t want to spend the rest of my vacation playing chess with a jackass who gets his predictions wrong every single time.”

Appu kept quiet. He could understand what Unni was feeling at that point of time. But still he was not too convinced about Unni referring to him as a jackass. He knew that it would rain tonight, he would prove Unni wrong. His prediction was not just an assumption but it was made based on his previous experiences. He knew that the hottest day of the year was a hint on the arrival of monsoons and he had this gut feeling that today was going to be the hottest day of the year.

It did not take many more moves for Unni to finish the game. The boys played another couple of games one of which ended in a draw and the other was won by Unni in spite of an inspiring effort from Appu. Surprisingly the last two games were more competitive most of all because of Appu’s focus which he had gained after Unni’s ill-treatment. It was when Unni’s mother called the boys for tea and snacks did they realize that the sun had moved further west and the shadow of the mango tree was spread right across the courtyard. After having had their tea, the boys took a stroll to the temple pond. The water level in the pond had gone down and Unni was convinced that with the rains getting delayed, the pond would dry in another three days.

Appu was watching the cranes taking the opportunity of an easy meal with the fish finding it very hard to get away in the shallow waters. Unni was sitting next to him looking at the people who were coming out of the temple. And then he noticed a familiar face. It was Madhavan, their math faculty in school. Madhavan was a popular figure among the students and he was undoubtedly the best teacher in school. He was the only teacher for whom Unni had respect and Unni admired Madhavan.

Madhavan smiled at the boys and asked, “You boys are missing the rains. Aren’t you?”

Appu said, “Sir. We are missing the rains and we are also missing your classes.”

Madhavan was quite impressed with the answer and it was noticeable on his face. Unni too realized that Appu had come up with a smart response. Madhavan smiled at the boys and bid goodbye to the boys as he walked through the small narrow lane that led to his house which was next to the village post office.

On hearing the temple bells ring after the evening pooja, the boys decided that it was time to head home. Appu thought of giving one last shot to cheer up Unni and he said, “Look Unni. I see dark clouds towards the south.”

Unni looked towards the south sky and said, “I don’t think so. It looks like smoke coming out from the chimneys of the brick factories.”

Appu wished Unni goodnight and started running to his house which was close to the temple. He was thinking about the scolding he might get from his mother as she had asked him to reach home before the evening pooja starts in the temple.

That night, Unni was finding it very difficult to sleep thinking about the dried temple pond. As he was moving around in the bed trying to get some sleep, he heard a cracking noise. It sounded like thunder. Unni jumped out of this bed and rushed to the balcony. Looking at the skies and feeling the warm moisture-laden winds beating on his face, Unni could sense the arrival of the monsoons. Soon it began to pour and how much did Unni enjoy the thudding sound of the rain drops beating on the ceramic tiles on his roof. Unni suddenly started feeling guilty of being rude to Appu realizing that his friend’s prediction had turned out to be true this time around. The rain continued all through out the night and the next morning when Unni woke up, it was still drizzling. He rushed to his mother who was in the kitchen preparing tea for Unni’s father who was dressed up to leave for office. Unni asked his mother for a towel saying that he was in a hurry to reach the temple pond. His mother was not too convinced that the pond would have enough water as it had rained only for one night. But Unni told his mother that he had seen the size of the rain drops and that the rain drops were so large that the temple pond would be having enough water that the boys could enjoy a swim.

Unni picked up a towel and as he was hurrying to Appu’s house, his mother called him back saying that he had forgotten to oil his hair. After getting his hair rubbed with some strange smelling medicinal oil prepared by a local Ayurvedic practitioner, Unni ran out. As Unni was about to reach the temple, he saw Appu walking towards the pond holding a towel in his hand. He had a devilish grin on his face.

“Didn’t I tell you Unni”, said Appu laughing out loud. “It’s been raining for the last eight hours and it looks as if it wouldn’t stop in another week.”

“I am sorry for being rude”, said Unni. “I will make it up to you. I will give you the marble set which my grandma had presented to me on my last birthday.”

“Let’s forget about all that Unni”, said Appu. “The pond is back alive and I see that you are looking cheerful. This is what we were looking forward to. Let’s go and take a dip. I have been missing the blue waters for quite some time.”

Unni put his arm around Appu’s shoulder and suggested that they take their first dive this year from the temple wall bordering the pond. As they were heading off to the pond, Appu heard someone calling out his name. The boys turned around and saw postman Narayan on his bicycle. He was waving his hand trying to grab their attention.

“Appu, looks like you have a money order”, said Unni giving a giggle.

As Narayan came closer, the boys noticed a tensed look on his face. “Are you both heading to Mr. Madhavan’s place?” asked Narayan. His tone wasn’t very cheering.

Appu shook his head and held up his towel wondering why Narayan would ever think that they were heading to their teacher’s house holding a towel.

“Oh. So you boys haven’t heard the bad news. I am sorry to tell this…. Mr. Madhavan who teaches in your school passed away early this morning. It was a heart attack. Maybe you both should visit his house later in the day.”

The boys were stunned for a moment. Narayan consoled the boys and left saying that he was already late for the first clearance of letters. Appu noticed a tear roll down Unni’s cheek as Unni watched Narayan ride away on his bicycle. Appu was short of words and as he was searching for words to console Unni, Unni started walking towards the lane that led to Madhavan’s house. Appu followed.

The drizzle was getting heavier and the boys were completely drenched as they reached Madhavan’s gate. To their surprise, they did not see anyone around the house. Appu pushed open the gate and as the boys made their way into the courtyard they couldn’t believe what they saw. Madhavan was sitting in his easy chair in the verandah reading the newspaper and enjoying a cup of tea. The boys had their jaws wide open and they were in a state of shock as they watched Madhavan.

Madhavan looked at the boys and said with a big smile on his face, “Come inside and get dry. You might catch a cold standing in the rain. I will ask my wife to get you boys some tea.”

The boys dried themselves with the fresh towels given by Madhavan’s wife. They tried to come out the state of shock they were in as they sipped hot tea from their glasses. Madhavan was watching the boys all this time and he was waiting for the boys to regain their calm before he could have a word with them.

The boys were looking much better after finishing their tea. Madhavan got up from his chair and looking at the boys he said, “I know you had arrived after hearing the news. Well …. As you can see, the Madhavan who passed away today morning wasn’t me. It was the faculty who teaches physics for the higher secondary students and obviously you two don’t know him from school.”

Appu turned towards Unni and gave him a look which pretty much meant “That explains it!!!”

Madhavan continued, “But you boys would always remain special in my life. Do you know why? It’s because, no matter what that happens, I know that you two would be visiting my house on the day that marks my death.” After spending some more time with their favorite math teacher the boys decided that it was time for them to head off to the pond.

The rains poured on as Unni and Appu walked back to the temple pond. Madhavan and his wife waved to the boys as they walked into the rain thinking about what a day they had so far.

! L!KE

I like nature, I like bikes
I like things that make me high.
Nice beatiful girls who cook and clean,
Especially the ones who do it for me.

Spending time with friends, I like,
Night shift at work, that I despise.
Reading books are fun sometimes,
"Letters to the penthouse" are like wind chimes.

Movies, music, rock n roll,
With my friends, I enjoy em all.
Stupid things I write, you read,
"F**k you all" to those who heed.